when a person leavin in outskirts of the city trying hard to speak english

i bought this mastika book(june edition) for rm4.20 during my visit in kijal..the book was fully-loaded with mysteries, strange cultures, weird asses n the rest r crap.but it;s not bad lar for a rm 4 book rite?...fully-printed with color somemore..ok...i m gonna reveal a joke inside this book to share with u;ll(this is one of the crap in the book yet i m talkin bout it)..hope u guys out there noe a lil knowledge bout bm.

tijah budak kg tapi bekerja di kl.pakaian seksi maut, bercinta dengan lelaki mat salleh.ke hulu ke hilir menayangkan boyfrennya .punyalah eksyen tijah hingga suatu hari dia ternampak lelaki inggeris tadi dengan wanita lain yang lebih cantik darinya.tijah menangis selama tiga hari..pada hari keempat dia mengambil sehelai kertas dan menulis surat untuk memutuskan perhubungannya dengan lelaki itu. beginilah surat yang ditulis tijah

john...
i want to cut connection us. i have think about this very cook cook. i know i clap one hand onli. correctly, i have seen you n she walk walk together at town with eyes myself. you grab hand she. you always ask for apology back-back.i dun trust u again.u r really a crocodile land(tanah buaya...i dun realli get this)
my fren speak u play wood three. first first i think my fren lie me
but now i noe u correct correct play wood three. so i break connection to pull my body from this love triangle. i know this result i pick is very correct b'cos you love she very high from me. so i cut this connection to go far from here. i dun wan u play play with my liver.i have been crying until no more eye water. i dun wan banana fruit two time
safe walk
tijah...

so wat u think the ang mo kio would think leh???